Dear Gym,
A few days ago, I celebrated my first year anniversary of my relationship with the Gym. I celebrated by having a piece of Portillo’s chocolate cake.
I’ve done a thoroughly scientific research project on the elliptical machine in my approximately forty hours I’ve spent on that stupid machine and I thought you might want to know my findings. The elliptical gives you a reading of the calories you’ve burned. Now, whether that reading is right or not is the question. But since I was always using the same elliptical, I compared my calories burned on the same machine, therefore, my science project is totally and completely valid.
In a half hour, I burned:
180 calories watching Food Network, but 270 calories watching Man Vs Food (the one where he eats those huge plates of food…disgusting and strangely motivating).
140 calories listening to Seth Godin (Marketing Guru) read his book, “Tribes” (great book, btw), but 230 calories watching the marketing of bedding sets on QVC.
230 calories watching the Cubs implode vs. 380 calories watching any football game. I don’t even care who’s playing, watching football is always better than watching slow baseball.
210 calories listening to Michael Buble sing his little soul out to me vs. 400 calories listening to my workout playlist which includes:
Skillet – Hero
Linkin Park – New Divide
Bruce Hornsby & the Noisemakers – Spider Fingers/Tempus Fugit
Beyonce – Single Ladies (Yeah, I said it…)
Michael Franti – Hey Now (I Love You)
U2 – Magnificent
What’s my lesson and truth to you? Don’t watch Food Network. Let Michael sing to your soul in your car. Skip the stupid Cubs, watch those cute football players and listen to loud music.
You’ll burn off that evil Portillo’s before you know it.
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May 29th, 2010 at 6:10 am
Everyone is looking for the magic pill, magic answer, magic exercise….it’s not any of that, it’s get off your rear end and commit yourself every single day to doing something good for yourself. Go back to the basics, doing pushups, jumping jacks, running and jumping like when you were younger, eating your vegetables, fruits and raw foods. It is not that hard, but people try to make it big and complex.